Voodoo Vibes

pagan parenting

How to Deal With Controlling Children

Controlling your child is a good way of raising em'. Train your child in the good ways that he should go and when he grows up, he will never depart from it. Alot of people whether Christians, Moslems, Pagans etc will agree with this religious inclination while some will call it a bluff with a single wave of a hand. Well bearing children is more easier than raising them.

Rearing a child is not a day job so you can't go on bearing children if you don't know how to raise them.

-Why bring a child into this world if you will let him grow to become a terror to his fellow humans.

-Why bear a child you will help to create a monster.(Remember that the worst thing about creating a monster is that one day it will turn against you).

-Why bear a child you will abandon.

-Why bear a child that will point an accusing finger at you and cursed the day he was born.

-Why bear a child that will end up in prison or death sentence.

-Why bear a child that will constantly patronise the rehab center.

-Why bear a child that will be a victim of prostitution.

-Why bear a child that will end up in the streets.

When you ask yourself these questions, then you will find the answer. If you are not ready yet, then don't bring in that innocent child. Let him/her hang a little while in that angelic world of theirs before bringing him into this corrupt world.

We all know the reasons why things are getting worser by the second, why Terrorism, Prostitution and all kinds of crimes can never stop? WHY?

-Because fathers teach their sons how to kill.

-Because mothers teach their daughters the game of sex.

-Because fathers are hard on their sons in the day and sleeps with their daughters in the night.

-Because mothers are hard on their daughters in the day and flirts with their sons in the night.

-Broken homes.

It all comes to a conclusion that everything starts from the home. Charity begins at home.

When a child becomes bad, the question is always "did he have a good upbringing?", "what's his family background?". But when a child becomes good, the answer is always "the parents did a good job", "they must be so proud".

What about your own child? What kind of upbringing are you giving your child?

-Do you work 3 jobs a day that doesn't give you time to raise your kids?

-Do you travel a lot for your kind of job that you have to leave your kids all the time at the mercy of the nannies?

-Do you have the time but just can't understand your child?

-Do you blame yourself for spoiling your child due to your excessive pamperness?

-Do you over discipline your child that he/she has ran out of the house twice this month?

-Do you give your child everything he deserves yet he's not satisfied?

-Are you a single parent and can't do it all?

-Do you raise the kids alone while your spouse is not helping at all?

-Do you feel like you are not a bad parent but just not a very patient one?

Then take a deep breath and relax. Children are like dogs. Train them well, they will make you proud. Spoil them, they will ruin you. just follow these easy steps.

A)-CONTROL YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOUR.

When your child misbehaves, scold him with the right hand and love him with the left hand ( it means don't over scold him, Make Him understand you are doing it because you care).

B)-SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD.

Many people has misunderstood this simple but strong phrase, when they say rod doesn't mean you will get a rod and flog your own child. The rod means discipline. If you don't discipline your child in a good mannered way, he will get spoiled. Don't be afraid to punish your child for doing a wrond thing, it's a way of preparing him to become a better person.

C)-DON'T APOLOGISE UNLESS IT'S NECCESSARY.

A certain young mother flogged her 10 years old son twice on the buttocks for deliberately spilling orange juice on the white couch. The boy slumps down and cried like the world is coming to an end and the next thing you know, the mother practically begs the child to stop crying and apologises for being a bad mother. So every now and then when the child misbehaves and gets punished, he cries to get his way. That's a bad example of rearing a child.

Meanwhile another young mother flogs her 8years old daughter twice on the palm for urinating on the couch while watching cartoon. The little girl cried and cried and when she saw that her mother was unmoved by her tears. She went upstairs in her room. When the mother notices her absence, she went upstairs and found her daughter under the bed. That touches the mother so she helped her daughter out and apologise for beaten her so hard and explained why she did it. The little girl understood and promised not to wee-wee again on the couch. Now that's a good way of rearing a child.

When you discipline your child and feel you were off the edge about it, you can apologise. You will only apologise to your child when it's necessary. Certain apologies can gravitate issues.

D)-COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD.

Make out time to spend quality time with your child, no matter how tight your schedule. Have a one on one talk with your kid. Learn to feel free to discuss Issues, Sex, Politics with your child. Believe me, there's a lot you can teach your child while communicating and things you can learn in return. Even if you work 22 hrs a day and only has 2hrs left to rest and get ready for another day, make the best of that 2hrs, spend 30mins with your child and explained to him/her why you need the remaining 1:30 mins to rest. Your child will understand.

E)-BE A GOOD LISTENER.

Don't ignore your child when he/she is keeping an unusual quietness. Make him/her talk to you and listen to what they have to say even if it doesn't make much sense... Listen to your child when he/she is complaining, you never know one or two things you can find out about them. Make your child know you are always there to listen to his problems and achievements, in that way your child can always confide in you.

F)-PRETEND TO BE IN YOUR CHILD'S WORLD.

The best way to get in a child's heart and mind is to get into their world. Don't be too adult in every situation. You were once like them and you know how it feels back then.

Your teenage daughter fantazise about a certain boy in school. She tells you about it because she wants to know what your reactions are going to be. Don't give into her doubts about you. Don't go saying " Honey, don't you think you are too young for this type of thing?" C'mon, tell yourself the home truth, when you were at that age you used to fantazise too.. So play along that adolesense age, get into her world and try to ask her question about her feelings for the boy whether it's Mutual, True love or Just infatuation. When you finish gathering that information then it's time to play that motherly role and advice her to her best knowledge and the right thing to do. Tell her it's normal to feel this things and make her understand that she should take control of her feeling and not her feelings take control of her. Tell her the fun, the consequences of these feelings... She will understand and believe me, she will grade you the coolest mother ever. Remember she has friends who will advice her otherwise, so play your role and leave the rest to her. The same rules applies to fathers to their sons.

G)-DON'T BE TOO OVER PROTECTIVE.

No matter how much you love your child and wants to protect him from the clutches of this world, don't make too much of it or you will get in their last nerves espieciallly when they are reaching that adolesent age... Give them some room. Don't barge in everything they do, when they are hanging out with friends and when they want to go on a date. Don't snoop into their private things all the time. It's only natural for every good parent to find out certain things about their child, what they are up to and the skeleton they got under their sheets but don't make too much of it; and in case you find unusual thing about your child, don't go screaming and telling them all the time or else they will keep hiding things from you. Keep it to yourself and watch him/her closely until you are convinced that this is the right time to act.

H)-DON'T BE TOO OVER POSSESIVE.

We know your child belongs to you and you love him so much you can't imagine letting him out of your sight, but don't make so much fuss about it. Don't over possess your child that you can't give him some room to associate with other adults. There might be one or two good things he can learn from another adult that he cannot learn from you. Let's admit it, you can't be perfect in everything.

You are an architect and you don't know anything about music. Now your child wants to learn music from your doorstep neighbour who happens to be inclined in music and you are saying "NO" and starts to drag issues with your child that you are in the right position to teach him everything. Forget it. Just because your child visits your doorstep neigbour doesn't mean he love you less. Give your child space to interact with other adults and do your investigation at the backyard (it's good to know the adult your child is associating with).

The worst thing about spoiling a child is that when you grow old and needs him, he will not be there.. And when you die, he will celebrate.

About the Author

An undergratuate, 3 books to credit.

Pagan Parents a question?

Do you find it difficult to raise your children in the Pagan faith you are practicing?

How do you celebrate the Holidays? do you have games and stuff, like on Easter the christians have easter egg hunts, do you do things like that? Please do tell
Oh, and another question, Were you born into this faith or did you convert to it?

No, not really. My kindred has over 10 children with one due next month. We have lots of kids that believe what we do.
We usually coincide holidays with the secular ones.
While I am not of Anglo-Saxon, I tend to celebrate Ostara and celebrate it near Easter so that we are having a holiday at the same time all of my kids friends are. Winter Nights I keep around Halloween. Yule is obviously super easy.
My kids are young so it's easier to coincide our religion with what's going on with all their friends. We celebrate with our kindred at the correct dates as well.
Every so often my daughter realizes we believe something totally different then her friends. But not often and I always stress that it is perfectly okay to believe in lots of gods, one god or no god at all. It's up to *her* to decide what she believes, but all three will be raised in heathenry yes.

Converted for a year

Pagan Parenting